10 Ways to Be a Highly Successful Materialistic Consumer

Writing by Conni Biesalski | 
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  1. Look for happiness in things
  2. Be concerned with how you express your identity and status through material possessions and clothing.
  3. Try to fit in materially. You want to fit in, don’t you?
  4. Go nuts with discounts, summer sales and the like. The cheaper the better. No, of course it’s not a marketing manipulation, duh! Corporations are good and really genuinely want to make you happy.
  5. Disregard your consumption levels recklessly. Go out and consume! Things, food, information, yoga, alcohol! Whatever it is, consume it!
  6. Hoard and collect! Accumulate things and stuff and keep it. Have many different variations of the same things. Yeah. Feels really nice and heavy.
  7. Disregard the environment. Ignore unethical and exploitative corporations. Just keep buying cheap stuff. Who cares where and how it was made. A shirt for $5 made in Honduras? Perfect.
  8. Watch a lot of TV and read lots of magazines. Admire creative commercials and beautiful ads.
  9. When you want to buy something, don’t think, just buy. New is good. Buying used, is like, you know, used, like disgusting.
  10. Buy at chain stores. At least you know where you’re at with their products, right? Wouldn’t want to take any risks buying locally or at a small business. Hell no.
  11. If you do end up wanting to get rid of something, just throw it away. Remember: We live in a throw-away society. It’s all disposable, right? It’s not like anyone else could use what you don’t need anymore.


Anything you would like to add? Do so in the comments.



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3 Responses to 10 Ways to Be a Highly Successful Materialistic Consumer

  1. Wil says:

    Enjoyed the post. Know very little about you, just your brief write up in the right panel of site and what Tom Ewer wrote about you in a recent post.. Guessing this is to get folks to think? Stir up controversy? Got my attention, I suppose.
    I like the exaggerated approach… I think. Thx much.

  2. Conni says:

    Your guess is spot on ;) Sometimes it’s the sarcastic and ironic exaggeration that shows people how ridiculous and outdated some ways of doing things, conventions, traditions etc. are.
    In reality, I advocate doing the exact opposite of every point up there. I believe in sustainable ways of production and consumption, and try to live a green and ecologically conscious lifestyle.
    The post was inspired after reading “Voluntary Simplicity” by Duane Elgin. It just made me think: Man, there are still people out living this crazy consumerist and unsustainable lifestyle…it frustrates me so much every day. So the post was born ;)
    Thanks for stopping by!

  3. Dwayne says:

    I’m tired of working for and feeding multibillion dollar corporations with my life energy for needless products and services. My life is meant to be lived, not consuming or collecting things. This blog post is a wake up call to all who believe products bring happiness to their lives. I’m going to forward the article to all my friends and family. Thanks Conni!